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  • Writer's pictureDr. Bob Durham

Happiness's Five Points To Success!

Updated: Aug 19, 2019


Five Steps to Success!

When I was in college the first time…right – right out of High School and not having a clue why I was there, I made a choice that was wonderful and full of happiness, on one side, and a fatal mistake on the other. (I know it’s a run-on sentence - give me a break)

Grade wise, I did okay the first year in college. Fact is, I did pretty good.

Then over the summer, I discovered the Jewish Community Center, right next door.

A simple but elegant building it contained many beautiful and functionary rooms.

However, there was one room that stood out far above all the others. It’s enticing invitation, visible from the front vestibule, seemed to beckon all visitors seeking happiness.

And it certainly beckoned me.

As you might have suspected, entrance into this special room was easy. One only had to step inside and immediately be awed. For in the center of that room sat a simple, challenging, and inviting – Beautiful - Ping-Pong table

OH…the memories – the Happiness.

While I was taking a course in college, during that summer, most of my time, after class, was spent perfecting my game in, “Ping-Pong.” And I got good.

I could cause a ball to bounce back, by design, and skirt corners on my demand. I learned how to have a ball bounce to either edge of my opponent’s side and miss mine by a mile upon return. During that summer I played all who wanted to oppose me, winning with increased assurance. I, to say the least, was having fun. I had found my happiness.

When the Fall Session of college started back, I enrolled in a full load of classes.

However, with increased regularity I attended, My Happiness at the Jewish Community Center, next door, more than classes. After all, in comparison college classes were a bore - especially since I didn’t know why I was attending college in the first place - Ping-Pong, on the other hand, gave me joy, and I was happy wining at, My Game.

By mid-term I knew – I knew – a choice had to be made.

I knew, if I didn’t make the right choice, I would surely flunk out of college.

And so, for me at that time, I made the right choice.

I chose Ping-Pong.


Because Ping-Pong made me happy.

I had pursued My Happiness and found it…And I got good.

I mean, sports fans, I got Good at Ping-Pong.

And as predicted, I flunked out of college.

But…I still remained good at Ping-Pong – and Ping-Pong made me Happy!


Our founders put in the Nation’s Heritage, these words, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,” for a reason. They understood.

In a popular song the words, “…If it makes you happy…,” sound a familiar tune that rings true deep in each of our eternal souls.

For, above all, we want to be Happy. We want our families to be Happy. We want our friends to be Happy. We want the world to be Happy.

Fact is, if what you are doing in life to Fulfill Your Mission, makes you Happy, success is inevitable. Because you will get good at it. Very good.

Okay so here are:

The Five Steps to Happiness’s Success!

(We will go over each in detail below)

1. Purification of the Mind

2. Shun All Evil

3. Do No Harm

4. Complete Your Mission

5. Return Home

1. Purification of the Mind

Don’t let anyone kid you, this gets easy.

Sure, you must always work and keep an eye on your thoughts, but with increasing success practice gets very close to perfection.

Here are a few daily practices to help you.

· When your thoughts go to, “Getting Back,” at someone, tell those thoughts to, “Get Out.” No, I mean say those words out loud. “Get Out.”

· When your thoughts go to immorality or sexual misconduct, tell them to, “Get Out.”

· When your thoughts go to unethical behavior violating one or more of your values or principals, tell them to “Get Out.”

· When your thoughts go toward treating others as you would not want to be treated, tell them to, “Get Out.”

Practice saying daily, “Get Out,” to those unwanted, impure thoughts and you will be amazed at how Happiness fills in.

2. Shun All Evil

Evil is the Opposite or Absence of Good.

There are, often, so many nouns and pronouns used to describe Evil that the list sometimes confuses the reader.

It’s very simple.

· Evil is the Opposite or Absence of Good.

· Shun the Opposite or Absence of Good.

If it’s not Good – stay away.

· Stay away from those bad thoughts, words, actions, and events that are not Good. Tell them to, “Get Out.”

· Stay away from those people who always bring bad thoughts, words, actions and events into your life. Run Away.

Surround yourself, instead, with people who bring

· Good thoughts

· Good words

· Good actions

· Good Events into your life. Run toward them...and watch as they fill your life with Happiness.

3. Do No Harm

Harm has to do with injury. Injuring yourself or others.

You are to do no Harm to Yourself or Others, Mentally, Physically, or Spiritually.


o You can harm yourself by thinking or planning bad thoughts or deeds to yourself or others. Remember, if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then don’t plan on or do it to others.

o You can also harm yourself by not planning or doing but allowing your mind to, “go to waste,” because of the lack of good planning with good deeds carried out.


o you can harm yourself or others by “Over doing it,” in an attempt to prove your worthiness. You are already approved to be worthy, or you wouldn’t be here.

o You can also harm yourself by refusing to accept your limited physical abilities. Use what you have to the best of your ability – that will be good enough.


o You will harm yourself by neglecting God. No one, I mean no one, will ever care for you like Your Creator, who knew you, knows you and wants the best for you.

o God knew you before and gave you life as a Blessing.

o God wants you to be Happy and Blessed. (Prayer is simply talking to God which makes God Happy)

4. Complete Your Mission:

Mission has to do with Your Purpose, Your Reason for Being.

If you haven’t read the posts;

· “Who Am I”

· “Why Am I Here”

· “What Am I Going to do About it,” I recommend you read those in order to help you focus in on Your Mission.

Whatever your Mission, Your Purpose in Life, Your Reason for Being, I assure you it is different. It is unique. It is not like anyone else’s. It is uniquely and wonderfully yours. And it will be for you Ping-Pong.

You may journey in life with a group of others, for a while, but I assure you that will change.

Look back on your life. How many places have you lived? How many schools did you attend? How many jobs – so far? How many companions? How many close friends? That has all changed already but you, that Real Eternal You with Your Unique Mission has not.

Whatever your Mission, above all else, Complete Your Mission. Give it Your All…and you will discover the joy - the Happiness in working to complete that Special Mission of Yours. More Happiness than you can possibly imagine.

5. Return Home

Like so many Vietnam Veterans, when I returned home there was no welcome.

There was, instead, implied shame.

The misbehavior of a few American soldiers, while risking their lives on the battlefield, along with Dinner Time Television war updates had stained the minds of hard-working citizens back home. And though I lost fifty-eight thousand, of my brothers and sisters in arms on the battlefield, we were not welcomed home.

When decades later a Veteran walked up to me, reached out his hand, and said, “Welcome Home,” the wells deep inside me burst forth and I melted right there in front of him. I cried like a baby. Someone knew. Someone cared. And deep, deep inside, it made me happy. I was happy.

After Completing Your Mission, here on Earth, Returning Home, to what we call Heaven, will be the same for you and me.

Ascending back up the celestial escalator you and I will find ourselves in the midst of an Eternal Celebration, with Choirs singing and Angels Clapping, where the One and Only, will stretch out His hand and say, “Welcome Home.” And We Will Be Eternally the Happiest.

But for now, while here on Earth, find your Ping-Pong! Find your Happiness.

So, let’s Review!

1. You were Created to be Happy!

Be sure, I’m not talking about doing something that makes you Happy at the expense of another Human Being. Let’s not be silly here.

2. You are living at a time and place where Happiness is even part of our National Heritage!

3. You have a Clear Understanding of the Five Steps to take in order to live The Happy Successful Life you were created for.

4. You may be forced to choose between doing what everyone else wants you to do in life and doing what you are firmly convinced is your calling. Your Reason for Being. Your Mission. Your Happiness.

5. If you choose what makes you Happy, then you will really do it well, Good – and be successful.

Here is a Daily Exercise for You!

There are twenty-four hours in each day.

Traditionally we carve them out as:

· Eight hours for Work

· Eight Hours for Play

· Eight hours for relaxation and Sleep

During the Eight hours at Work – tomorrow and every day this week, look for opportunities:

· To help fellow workers, and other people

· To lift people up and encourage them.

· To give people Hope.

During the Eight hours at Play – tomorrow and every day this week, look for opportunities:

· To treat everyone with equality and great respect

· To honor them for their unique skills and abilities

· To help them when needed – even before they ask

During the Eight hours at Relaxation and Sleep – tomorrow and every day this week, when you lay your head down, as you rest in peace, count the times you accomplished the goals in the previous two. (Hours at Work – Hours at Play)

Keep this practice up and over time, the number of times will increase and expand into hours.

When, in the future, the majoring of hours, each day, each week, each month are spent accomplishing the goals in the previous two (Hours at Work – Hours at Play), you will adding mountains to Your Happiness, and helping to make the World a better place for you and everyone else.

Ping – Pong!

Find Your Ping – Pong!

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